Memories of the Past
by Fen Jien Ren
Summary: Before locking up Goku into the prison in the mountain, his memories were erased. But, what if the spell was broken and Goku suddenly remembers everything?
1. Run Away

**Memories of the Past**  
_A Son Goku and Kouryu-Sanzo fic_  
Chapter One: Run Away

"Hakkai…" he groaned, "How long will it take till we arrive to the next city?" the golden-eyed boy leaned forward

"Maybe a week or two, Goku…" he smiled as he drove down the road

"Oh!" he sat back, "I'm so hungry!"

"You always are…" Gojyo said with one-eye closed and the other staring at Goku, "Dontcha' feel full even for once? You have already consumed all our food!"

"I'm still hungry! And I can't even call that a snack! I'm so hungry…"

"A s-snack! What the fuck! You already have eaten all of our food and yet you're saying that you can't even call that a snack? What kind of stomach you have inside your body?"

"And the argument started…" Hakkai chuckled, "Such a pleasant day…"

"Hmph…" Sanzo looking irritated

"It's not my fault to be hungry, is it?" Goku stood up

"Yes, it is, you fuck-face!" Gojyo answered back also standing up

"Hakkai…" he called his attention calmly

"Yes, Sanzo?"

"…" Sanzo pointed a spot where the road was ruggedly tough and has a sharp slope going down as he leaned back to his seat and closed his eyes

Hakkai chuckled, "Ready, Hakkuryu?" he smiled

"Oh, shit!" Gojyo immediately sat on to his sit and held tightly at something, Goku did the same thing

The two riders on the back were so afraid and was about to puke, but, Sanzo, as usual, was all blank and cold…

"You're really scary, Hakkai, sspecially when you say, _Ready Hakkuryu_ with that evil smirk on your face!" Gojyo held his chest as if his heart was jumping out

"Really!" Goku's face was outside the jeep and was about to throw up, "Oh… I'm starving…"

"Tsk!" Gojyo's eyebrow twitched, "We were about to die a minute ago and you're still thinking about food? Damn it, baka saru!"

"Don't call me stupid monkey, ero kappa!"

**O o O o O**

"Ugh..." Sanzo wakes up

"Good morning, Sanzo! I hope you wouldn't mind if I borrow your newspaper for a while." Hakkai smiles

"Ch..." Sanzo sat up on his bed, his feet flat on the wooden floor

"Did you had a dream, Sanzo?" Hakkai asks politely

"Hell..." he stands up and pulled his robe up

"Hey, guys..." Gojyo suddenly appears at the opened door of their room

"Is Goku in here?"

"Couldn't a kappa tell if he's here or not?" Sanzo says coldly

"Hey, priest!" he says, talking to Sanzo with a serious face,"Your pet is missing..."

"He'll come back..."

"Knowing Goku... He would never skip breakfast..."

"You just said it kappa... He would never... So, he'll come back..."

"Sanzo... I think we must be sure if he's really coming back or not..." Hakkai stood up from the chair and walked out of the room, "You coming, Sanzo?"

"Hmph..." he lights a cigarette and followed Hakkai

Inside Gojyo and Goku's room...

"Hey, look..." he stepped closer to Goku's bed and folded his knees, looking under the bed; hepulled something, "His clothes…"

"Hey, are you telling me that chimp is walking around all naked!"

"I really doubt that, Gojyo…" Hakkai said with the usual smile on his face

"That fuck-face!" Gojyo lit a cigarette, "What are we supposed to do now?"

"…" the both of them turned to Sanzo and caught him thinking deeply, "Sanzo?"

"Hmph…" he turned around, "We can't leave that stupid monkey here, can we?"

"I suppose not…" Hakkai smiled again

"Gojyo…" Sanzo shot a glare at the red-headed man, "Sniff his god damn tracks…"

"Right away…" he was about to leave the room when he realized what Sanzo had said; "Wait a minute! What the hell did you just told me to do?"

"Eheh…" Hakkai chuckled, "Now, now… We have a pretty big problem on our hands already…" he tried to stop the argument between tha two, "Can't we just get along even until we find Goku?"

"Hey," Gojyo turned to him, "He started it!"

"Do it or I'll kill you!" Sanzo pulled out his gun and aimed it at Gojyo, "That's an order, damn it!" he shot the gun nearly missing Gojyo's face

"Sanzo…" he tried to calm him down

"Why, you corrupt priest!" Gojyo held Sanzo's shirt and pulled near him

"Gojyo!"

The door suddenly opened, the three of them looked at the door hoping that it was Goku. The door opened wider and revealed no boy, but a girl with same golden eyes and brown hair, only longer…

"Please, don't tell me Goku turned into a cute girl…" Gojyo says, still gripping to Sanzo's robe

But as they all stared at her eyes, it faded into light brown. Hallucination, I must say...

"M-master Sanzo?" the girl spoke

"Hmph…" Sanzo pushed Gojyo away

"Hey!"

Sanzo stood inftont of the girl and stared at her for a little while, "…" then he left

"He sure is worried…" Hakkai says with a faint smile

"You call that worried?"

"Well, knowing Sanzo…"

"Yeah, yeah… Whatever…"

"I thought that was my line, Gojyo!" Hakkai laughs as he followed Sanzo outside

"…" Gojyo grunted and follows Hakkai

"_That stupid saru_…" Sanzo thinks, "_Where could he be_?" Sanzo looked around the place, but all was there are tiny stalls and its merchandise, "Sigh…" a kid with brown hair suddenly bumped into him, he fell down with the kid over him, "Shit." the kid suddenly looked into him, his eyes widened to see a pair of golden eyes, "Goku?"

Goku stood up fast and continued running, "…"

Sanzo stands up and tried ran after him, "Goku!" but the crowd was getting on his way, "Shit." He fires his gun and everybody ran to find a place to hide, the street were cleared reaveling a brown-haired boy running away from him, "Goku!" he called, he was about to run after him when somebody held his arm, he turned around, wanting to find out who dared stopping him, "Gojyo?"

"Hey, what's with the gun-shooting?" Gojyo asks

"..." He turned around, but Goku was no longer in sight, "Ch…" he grited his teeth, he looked back at Gojyo and gave him a cold-stare; he pushed Gojyo away and left

"What's with him?" Gojyo asks Hakkai

"Why are you asking me?" Hakkai smiles

"_Goku_…"

"…" Goku continued running and running and running…

* * *

A/N: Does anybody notice something with my Saiyuki fics? Well, if you do, don't ask me why Goku most of the time runs away from them! 'Cause I don't know either! XD 


	2. Dreams

**Memories of the Past**_  
A Son Goku and Kouryu-Sanzo fic_

A/N: I just want to say thanks to StarComet 04 for sending a review! And also to Jess Anime!

Chapter Two: Dreams

_Goku… Goku… Where are you going?_

Goku continued on running wearing different clothing, "_Konzen… Konzen... Why does that name sound familiar?_" Goku continued on running, "_Tenpou… Kenren…_" he slowed down and soon stopped, "_Nataku. My dream… it felt like real._" Goku lift his head up and stared at the clear sky, "_It's just like a memory…_" he closed his eyes and remembered his dream, his amrs hang down lifeless; his feet stood firmly…

Flashback…

"M-master Konzen! I-I'm sorry… But y-you cannot enter!" four guards were restraining the god

"Let me go!" he dragged them as he desperately enters the Merciful Goddess' room

"Master Konzen! Please! Mistress Kanzeon is having an important meeting!" more guards arrived to stop him

"A meeting with a kid? Don't make me laugh!"

Goku turned his head around, "_Golden hair?_"

"Ah, Konzen…" she stood up from her seat, "How nice of you to visit me…" she signalled the guards to leave

"Ch."

Goku skipped to the golden-haired god, "…" he touched his long hair and accidentally… "Oops…"

"Why you little--! You pulled my hair out!" he knocked him down with one hit on the head

"Hey, what was that for?"

"For being stupid! You pulled my hair you idiot!"

"I didn't mean to pull your precious hair!" he answered back, "It's just that…"

Kanzeon Bosatsu chuckled, "This is going to be interesting…"

End of Flashback…

Goku opened his eyes, his lifeless arm moved. He covered his eyes with his hand, but the big space between his ring finger and middle finger let his eye see still, he looked down on his way and continued to walk…

He lifted his hands and stared at it, "_The chains… I even felt its coldness when I was dreaming… Everything was like real!_ _And who is Kenren and Tenpou? They… They look a lot like Gojyo and Hakkai…_"

**O o O o O**

"Mistress Kanzeon!" the door winged opened

"What is it?" she says as she watches Goku from above

"Is it true you have broken the spell upon the child?"

"What if I did?"

"Mistress Kanzeon, do you know what are the consequences what you have just done?"

"Oh, don't be so angry…" she turned around, "I was just getting bored so I…"

"Mistress…" he groaned, "You're helpless…"

"Why, thank you…"

**O o O o O**

"I'm huuungrryyy…" Goku says as his stomach made some loud noise, "I want some food." Goku continued to walk tall along the crowd, he turned left and right

But even if he's wide awake, his dream keep on flashing before his eyes. He stopped walking, and suddenly covered his ears. His eyes were now full of fear, he shook like crazy and he suddenly started running again.

The flashbacks started...

"Nataku! Kill Goku, now!" Litouten orders

And without hesitation, the God of War pulled out his sword and charged towards Goku

"N-no!" Goku freaked out and fell down

"Move, kid!" Kenren interfered, he stood between Nataku and Goku, and he held the God of War's sword between his hands

"Nataku! Annihilate General Kenren!"

"What the--?" Kenren throws Nataku away with his sword, he turns back to Goku and gave him a hand, "I though you're strong…"

"I'm… I'm sorry…" Goku apologizes

"Forget about saying sorry, move now!" Kenren says as he stopped Nataku getting near Goku, "Kid! Show me watcha' got!" he continued to talk to Goku

"B-but…"

Kenren threw Nataku away again, "Hey, you wanna' get killed?"

"No…"

"Make Nataku stop, Litouten!" Tenpou attacks him

"Then, fight!" Kenren was now stabbed by Nataku, "Gah!" his shoulder bled

Nataku faced Goku, he pulled out his sword from Kenren and charged to Goku

"N-nataku! I-it's me, GOKU!"

Nataku suddenly withdrew his sword and stabbed his own shoulder, "Go-ku?" Nataku falls down and faints

"Darn it!" Litouten suddenly appears before Goku, he picks up unconscious Nataku in his arms, "He would still be a use to me…"

"N-nataku is not a puppet or anything, y'know! Nataku must have the right to decide things for himself!"

"As the God of War, Nataku is only a killing machine. He has no feelings, no nothing. He is only here to kill."

"No! THAT'S NOT TRUE! THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Goku's diadem suddenly breaks, "GAH!"

"K-kid…" Kenren groans

Goku suddenly comes back to his normal sense and sees himself standing over the edge of a cliff. The flashback ended as he opened up his eyes widely…

"W-where am I?" Goku asked himself, "These dreams… They… They really felt like real." He turned around and head back to the town, "…"

He though deeply and tried to remember again his dream. And the flashbacks resumed, as it flashes before his eyes. His eyes of innocence drifted to fear. He shook and felt weak; he falls down on his knees. He forced himself to stand up, but it was no use. He was too afraid of doing so. He things that what if going back to the town is another mistake, what would he do.

He curled like a cat, he cried…

He screamed his lungs out, he was feeling guilty.

He continued on shaking, he couldn't accept the fact that he was the one responsible for everything.

His mind continued to reminisce, now he began to understand that it was no dream, but a memory…


	3. Starless

**Memories of the Past  
**_A Son Goku fan fiction_

A/N: YAY! ANOTHER CHAPTER UPLOADED! YIPEE!  
Chapter Three: Starless

The rain pours heavily from the skies. Footsteps echoed along the ally. Water drips from one's clothes. And tears fall from golden eyes...

Eyes full of fear, quite round; he walks lifelessly along the road. Every step he makes was like as heavy as a house, but he kept on walking, without thinking where to go. Walking without direction, he thinks he can't go back nor to look back. His feels his heart very heavy, he continued to live as if he carries all the problems of the world. He dragged himself to nowhere…

Footsteps continued to echo…

The rain never stopped…

He continued to walk…

He continued everything like unusual, so as asking himself how and why, sometimes also what and who. Even if he sees only short glimpses of his dark memory, he couldn't stop thinking what really happened even if he knows it will hurt him so bad.

He thinks of the golden-eyed kid he remembers as Nataku, he remembers how they met and how they began to change each other's world better. But behind those good things he now knows he had made, he can't stop thinking about Nataku's father of how bad that man wanted to kill him. He still doesn't know why, but any time soon he'll know…

He remembers Konzen, and how they first met; how he ruined his long shiny hair, and how he reacted to it. So as Marshal Tenpou with his smiles, his messy room, and his kind remarks, General Kenren,

He continued to cry and walk… He continued to sulk. He continued to be—faithless.

He now stands before a clear sky, the sun has returned like it always does.

His jaw hung open, he cried to his sun. More tears fall… More guilt he feels. Less faith he has.

Then, all his faith runs away. He falls down to his knees, water droplets spread all over him. He stares at his reflection on the big puddle of water. And sees an image of a friend, and remembers how he hates the rain. In his eyes he sees torment, with his heart he feels coldness; he hears his conscience. Tears continued to fall, disturbing the calm water, his reflection smudged.

He hollowed out with his hands, how he hoped to see hell so soon.

He throws dirt everywhere and continued to dig.

Hopelessness he lies down, water spattered. Tears fell. Heart tortured…

He closes his eyes and sleeps, wishing never to wake up. He dreams of his fears and wakes him up again.

Conscience, why punish him?

His heart were about to be broken.

A child's heart is so fragile; there is no challenge in breaking it or to do it slowly.

Conscience, how can you find this enjoying?

Goku turns as he grits his teeth, hopelessness he feels.

What I witness now is far like Son Goku.

He is not the sage that the Gods now.

He is a kid, soft and weak.

Here he lies down with a bleeding heart; a tired mind. But his eyes never stopped crying. Every minute he cries, for every minute he remembers every move, every detail, and every air breathe, every word… Conscience makes sure of that.

Then he sees quite enough, he stands up. Limbs quite weak, he falls down. Water spatters. His eyelids began to feel heavy… But he kept on fighting and stayed up awake.

He kneels up; grabs his right arm and pulled it away as hard as he could. He screams out his pain, but this was the only way he could stay awake. He stands up again, his knees continued to shake like an old man's. But Goku continued on trying until he finally managed to stand up firmly.

His right arm hung down, it was either broken or just dislocated. But for every move it makes, he screams out again. For him, it hurts like hell. He doesn't know how to cure himself, but he had no choice. He must stay awake and walk away from this town.

He must—disappear!

His golden eyes release the last tear. He closes his eyes tightly and talked to himself. He opens them again, now full of determination and life.

He started walking…

He continued to walk until he meets a forest. Quite dark and cold, but he continued to go on anyways. Then, his sight began to blur and cross. He now sees dozens of path that was used to be only one; he stops never knowing what path to take. He looks down to his hand and sees also dozens of it. He reaches for his fractured arm and pulled it again. He screams out his pain, but now, he sees only one clear path…

He continued his walk to the road he has chosen…

The road of torment…

He walked and he walked until he can't remember where to return. He takes one step to another, he went on.

He thinks back again, disregarding the fact that he could uncover something dark in his past, he remembers the people who hate him, who avoid him, and the people who always wanted to kill him. As the image of Nataku trying to kill him flashes before his eyes, he trips over a tiny rock. He lied to his back and looked at his feet to see his shoes have already worn out; without hesitation he took them off. He stands up and faced his chosen path to see a figure. A tall, thin figure that was slowly moving nearer, he stares at it as he sees a familiar frown, his eyes grew wide and big, it suddenly disappears. Hallucination…

He suddenly wonders what the reason why he ran away is, and he remembers that he just wanted to know who konzen, nataku, kenren, and tenpou are. And to know if such place he used to call his hone exists and if so, Konzen and the others are his family. But, why would such a person kill his brother or relative, but just moments ago he figured out who they really were. They are not his family…

He continued walking, now with bare feet. But now, why is he still searching for something? He knows now that Konzen is not his famil but just a friend like Sanzo. He now ponders why he still wants to go on.

He things deeply, even if it was very hard for him, he want to know—more!

In his mind, figures started to form, memories started to get clear, everything went into action. Flashbacks started as he, as well, continued to walk.

Tired eyes suddenly grew large; he was trying to remember his past. But it seemed that what he remembered is not owned by his late self, but the memories now of the great sage inside of him, the sight, the feeling, the adrenaline of Seiten Taisen Son Goku.

Before his eyes he sees himself slaughtering all that comes in his way. He felt like really being there, he felt the fear of being killed. He witnessed how he, himself, at that time killed the only family he knows, he sees how he had threw Kenren and Tenpu back and forth. He sees now, how hard Konzen tried to stop him, and how desperate he was to make him better again. More and more he felt pain as he sees himself enjoying the bath of blood, he almost grew insane as he witness his own evil smirk as he thrusts on Konzen's chest violently and continuously; how he felt uncontented on just that…

Golden eyes cried, tears fell, it couldn't stop… It continued to flow. Tears of pain…

He opened his mouth and tried to scream all his pain out. But, it didn't helped, it didn't even wake him up from this… nightmare.

* * *

A/N: A short chapter indeed... 


	4. Old Friends

**Memories of the Past  
**_A Son Goku Fan Fiction_

Chapter Four: Old Friends

Whistle… Sweet whistles echoed inside his head, but it was too eerie and made him feel quite bad. He struggled in his bed, in his mind; he wanted to make it stop. But, he doesn't know how, and in everything he does the whistles goes louder and louder. He tossed and turned, sweat drips down to his face. His teeth grinded, he looked so hurt and in-need of help. He continued to breath heavily, his body temperature seems to rise. His browns furrowed, he continued to feel so worn-out. He grew pale as he felt more pain as the sound gone louder.

Then, suddenly, unusual warmth landed on his forehead, he felt that he had gone well. The eerie sound slowly vanished…

"S-sanzo?" he opened his eyes in half, he blinked a couple of times then his sight cleared up

He sees a thin figure bent in half, it sits on a wooden chair, its knees far from each other; its wrists rested on its thin legs, he sees cuffs around it. A long cloth was hanging on its shoulder; he lifted his sight higher and higher, and then, his golden eyes meets gold and green…

"How are you feeling, Son Goku?"

"H-homura…" he grinded his teeth as he felt a tight squeeze on his fractured arm

"Stay still," Homura grasped onto Goku's arm, "This might hurt, Son Goku."

"Gaah!" he screamed, "Darn it, Homura! Why didn't you did that when I was asleep!"

"Because I didn't want to wake you up. You are in a terrible condition, Son Goku."

"You can say that again," Goku sat up, the cloth over him fell down, "You did this bandages, Homura?" he touched and felt the bandages in his chest

"Yeah." Homura stands up, "Dinner will be ready within 30 minutes…"

"Dinner?"

"Why? Aren't you hungry?"

"…"

"Or you just don't want to eat with us?"

"No, it's not that." Goku suddenly wears a smile, "Thanks anyway."

"Hmph." Homura walked away, "Be strong."

"…" he stared at him as he slowly walks away, somehow, in his mind, the present has made a connection with the past, now, he sees himself, talking to the war god on a place where lots of pretty flowers were planted

"Hey, can I pick some flowers here?"

"Oh, sure…"

"By the way, my name is Goku! What's yours?"

"…" Homura closed his eyes for a moment, then left

"_Weird guy…_" Goku continued in picking up some flowers

With a blink of an eye, everything went back to normal. The smell and the view of the thousand flowers were gone. And only the image of the leaving Homura remained…

"..."

**Knock! Knock!**

"Who is it?" Goku asked, "_Man, I thought it would be ready in30 minutes, have I daydreamed that long?_" Goku tried to get up, "Ugh!" he fell down

"Son Goku!" Homura dashed in, and helped him stand up

"H-homura… W-why?" Goku managed to sit up with Homura's help

"What is it, Son Goku?" he stood up straight

Goku moved his head from left to right, "Nothing… Thanks."

"For what?"

"Nothing, I just felt like saying it!" Goku smiled

"Dinner is ready…"

"Oh," Goku tried to stand up, "Agh!" he fell down again

"You're weaker than I thought…" Homura held and helped him stand up

Goku sat down at the bed, "Homura?"

"…" he raised a brow

"Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?"

"Son Goku… I suppose you don't remember Nataku..."

"Yes, I do."

"What?"

"Nataku, he's the former war god, isn't he?" with this words, the image of Nataku attacking him appeared in his mind

"That's right, but… How did you know?"

"Well," Goku scratched his head; "I just remembered!" he smiled

"That's impossible_…_"

"Heheh…" Goku smiled wider,

Homura wore a sudden smile, "So, what else do you still remember?"

"Not much… You think you can help me remember more?

"I don't know much about you; all I know is that you are the reason why Nataku is in coma now."

"Coma? Nataku is in coma? Why?"

"So, that is what you have forgotten… Ever since Nataku stabbed himself to save you, and he fainted"

"_Save me?_"

"He never woke up, well, I mean, he never was cured, psychologically, that is. He is awake, sitting on his place, but he never moved speak, or eat. He stares to eternity…"

"I didn't remember that part…"

"You were friends. Best friends, I'd rather say…"

"Can I see him?"

"What did you say?"

"Homura, can I see Nataku? Can you bring me to him?"

"Are you serious?"

* * *

A/N: A short chapter.. Aheheh.. Sorry. I'll try to make it up to the next chapter! Thanks for reviewing, guys! 


	5. No Courage for Tomorrow

**Memories of the Past**  
_A Son Goku Fan Fiction_  
Chapter Five: No Courage for Tomorrow

Rain.

Why does it have to rain? For all the times that it can rain, why now? Why when Sanzo is already in his worst mood? I don't understand.

His loose robe hung down to his small waist. He sat at the window sill and watched the rain fall down. In his eyes we see yesterdays. Yesterdays of great sorrow…

Some say eyes are the windows to the soul.

But on Sanzo's eyes, we only see guilt and hatred. He glances for a minute around him, but nothing seems to please him or make him into a better mood. He makes his usual smokes and sulk on the corner.

"Sanzo?" a knock on the door followed this call

"…"

Ignoring is something we always see Sanzo doing. He hates being disturbed from his deep thoughts, as we all know, Sanzo is no person people. He hates company, and so as the noise…

"Sanzo?"

The door slowly opened, still, he watched the rain fall down. But at the corner of his eyes, he sees a diadem gleaming. Hoping he wasn't hallucinating or anything, he looked back. But in an instant, he realized that it was no diadem, but the monocle that Hakkai wears. The candle light reflected its light on his eye glass… His hopes fall, but he hid it. With a face usually without any expression, it is so easy. For people like him is easily misunderstood. An advantage that only Sanzo has among the group…

Hakkai looked at Sanzo's bed where he had put his tray of food, "You haven't eaten anything yet, Sanzo." He walks near to it and lifted the tray of the untouched food

"I'm not hungry…" he says as he exhales a cloud of smoke

"Sanzo, I told you, you shouldn't smoke…"

"You're starting to sound like saru."

Hakkai chuckled, "Am I?"

"Don't bother bringing me more food if you're gonna' bring me a can of peach…"

"Ugh."

"So, are you doing this on purpose?"

"Well, not really…" Hakkai suddenly gone serious, "Sanzo, sulking like this won't help."

"So as playing cards and getting drunk…"

"But, I'm not getting drunk."

"Ch." He stared back at his reflection on the blurry mirror, ignoring the figure of Hakkai behind him

"Are you sure you're not going to eat, Sanzo?"

"…"

Hakkai grinned, "I'll be leaving now." Hakkai turned and left

Eyes of purple narrowed, he began to think. Wonder. Remenisce. He thinks about other things than the golden-eyed youkai. Hakkai was right, sulking won't help. And the thought that once this words came from him made him grin. Both of them really has a way of words, Hakkai has the gift to make people better, and him, Sanzo, has the gift of eyeing everything up to the smallest detail. With words he can bring one to suicide. These words were just so easy for him to say, sometimes, gentle words can pass through his mouth. But he seldom mean it, mostly he just say such things just to make things work out for him.

**O o O o O**

Hakkai dropped Sanzo's untouched food to the trash, "Sanzo is still upset."

"He's still not eating?" Gojyo asked

"No,"

"Dontcha' think it's just the rain?"

"He hasn't eaten any since Goku ran away, and as I remember correctly this is the first time it rained."

"Second…" Gojyo lit a cigarette, "This is the second time."

"Oh, right… But, I'm quite sure that he is not like this because of the rain. It is because that he ran away."

"Sanzo sure is a weird guy."

"How can you say that?"

Well, on normal days, Sanzo beats the hell of that saru… But, now that he ran away…"

"Well, life has just its own ways of making a person happy…"

"What do you mean?"

"Sanzo… Sanzo is the kind of person that even if he says that the past is just a heavy bargain, there, in his past, he only finds the reason to smile… Not until he met goku…"

"What the hell are you saying, Hakkai? I can't understand a word you are saying?"

"Life has its own way of making us smile… Even when we want to give up and lose hope… Certain surprises come our way just when we thought we would never smile again..."

"Huh?"

Hakkai smiles and looks straightly at Gojyo, "Want some sake?"

"Hey, you're not explaining it to me yet!"

"Someday you'll understand. Now, do you want some sake?" Hakkai pulled out a bottle of sake

"Damn it, Hakkai! Stop changing the fucking subject!"

"Alright, then I won't." Hakkai smiled as he sipped some sake

"So?"

"So? What?"

"What's the meaning of your fucking words of wisdom, damn it!"

"Oh, that! What was that again?"

"Hak—kai!"

Hakkai laughed and Gojyo got more pissed. A normal conversation between the two, they enjoyed their selves with a bottle of sake like they always do. They shared stories, jokes, and thoughts. They wore lots of smiles as they talked to each other.

But, back to the room where one monk sulk. He continued to think of what he had done wrong, why could saru run away from him? Why would he? He must've done something unconsciously. Maybe, he had yelled at him again, maybe he had brought up his past, maybe he had told him again to run away again without knowing. Maybe…

* * *

A/N: Okay, so I think, you have been patient enough to wait for this stupid, senseless chapter.. :P But, hey, send a review, ok? I aplogize again if this is only I can give for now, I didn't had enough time.. Sorry... Please, forgive me. 


	6. Chained Heart

Memories of the Past  
_A Son Goku Fan Fiction_

A/N: Umm… Some.. Someone has sent me a message or a review. And I think, he or she thoughts this is a yaoi fic… Umm.. Well, actually, this… this is no yaoi fiction, I do not write yaoi fics. But, please do continue on reading, I hope you're going to like this fiction even if its not…

Chapter Six: Chained Heart

In this tall tower, on the highest floor, one watches the skies from there. He can see how the clouds change shape, and how it is affected by the strong wounds. Homura, the war god, stood before this pretty sight. He was leaning all his weight to his crossed arms over the wooden railing. His brows furrowed as the wind kissed his face, his hair danced with its gentle blows; he began to realize once more how beautiful it is down on Earth…

"Homura."

Gold and green slid to the side, "What is it?" he turned around and sees his faithful warrior, Shien

"Is it true that Son Goku has decided to come with us?"

"That's right…"

"So, what Zenon said was no lie."

"Yes, but he only wanted to see Nataku."

"Nataku? But, how is that possible?"

"I am not sure myself…" he continued, "It seems to be that the spell upon him has been broken, but…"

"But?"

"All he remembers is all about Litouten and nothing else."

"So, what are you planning to do?"

"I don't know… I really don't know…"

Before this floor, we meet a large door that closes the room where Seiten Taisen resides. He, too, appreciated the beautiful view like Homura did. There was not much of a difference between them after all. Goku was embracing the fresh air, it was cold, but he ignored it and gave back his usual smile. He closed his eyes and thought, but what he remembers was far from he wanted to think. His dark past, his killings, his hatred…

He suddenly falls down, closed eyes. He gritted his teeth, he covered his ears…

"No! NO! S-stop!" he screams

Suddenly the feeling faded away, he slowly opened his eyes…

"Who are you?"

"Eh?" he lifted his head up

"I am asking you who you are!"

"…" he just stared at him

"Nataku-sama!"

"Shit!" he pulled Goku with him and hid behind a large statue, there they sat quietly, "…"

"Nataku-sama! Are you in here?" the door opened, "Nataku-sama!" it closed

"Those fools…" he chuckled

"Hey," Goku's legs were crossed, "Why are you hiding? Have you done something bad, too?"

"Well, I jus saw that crummy old man sleeping instead of working so I drew something on his face!" he sticks his tongue out

"That's… That's awesome!"

"Really? You think so, too?" he smiled

"Yeah! I hope I could see his face! He must've looked so ridiculous!"

"I didn't draw much; I just drew some nose hair coming out… But, hey, you're right! I should've taken a picture of him! And you know what? I think you're cool, too! My name is Nataku, what's yours?"

"M-my name?" behind his head, he knew he had a name, he knew he was Goku. But, he couldn't understand why he told him: "I… I don't have a name. Nobody has given me one…"

"Eh?"

"They say I am a heretic that is born from a rock. They say that I am dangerous so they must keep me here…"

"Hey, that's cool!"

"You think so?"

"Yeah! You're born from a rock and you are the only person that will be! That means you're irreplaceable! And that's super cool!"

"I've finally found you, Nataku-sama!"

"Ack!" he freaked out

"The emperor is looking for you, Nataku-sama!"

"Yeah, yeah…" he stands up and went with the servant, "Let's play again next time, okay?" he suddenly smiles

Goku sees the smile he had always hoped to see, the smile he had missed for a very, very long time. The smile he now longs to see for real. He stands up, and as he does, his environment turned back to the present time. Everything went back to normal…

He turns back to the skies, "Nataku…" his lips curved, a smile was shown

The ground suddenly shook, Goku fell out of balance. A great sound echoed…

"What was that?" Goku stood back up and run down the stairs, "What the hell is going on?"

"How nice of you to visit us here, Konzen."

"Konzen?" Goku froze, his eyes widened

Flashback…"

"Oi, Konzen! I want you to give me a name!"

"Maybe next time…" he lied down and shifted to his side and closed his eyes

"NOW!" he threw a pillow on Konzen's head

"Why you—" as Konzen turned, his eyes meats serious gold eyes, "It's saru then…" Konzen turned around

"Ack!" Goku was about to throw another pillow when Konzen said another

"Goku."

"Eh?"

"You're Goku. Its short and easy for a monkey like you to remember."

"That's right… I'm Goku." He smiled, "My name is Goku…"

One blink and everything went back to normal. His dream had ended…

"Konzen…" Goku's brows furrowed as he took a peak, "_S-sanzo? K-konzen is also Sanzo?_"

"What bring you here, Konzen?"

"I think you have two things that are mine." Sanzo aimed the gun at Homura's forehead

"Two?"

"Hand over the sutra and—"

"I still can't give you the saten sutra, Konzen, if you want it back right now, you must fight. As for Son Goku…"

"Ch." His eyes narrowed

"I'll gladly give him back to you, that is, if he wants to come with you." Homura turned to the stairs where Goku was standing, he stared at him

"Goku!" Hakkai called

Hakkai's brows furrowed, "I…"

"Goku, let's go!" Gojyo invited, but he didn't moved from his spot

"Goku?" Hakkai done worried

"I'm afraid Son Goku doesn't want to come with you." Shien emerged from the shadows

"So, you better go now." Zenon walked out with his gun ready

"But… But, Goku…"

"I… I have… Well…" Goku stammered

"Saru." Sanzo turned to him, "Are you coming or not?"

"S-sanzo…"

"Are you coming?"

"Eh…" Goku looked away

"Ch." Sanzo put down his hand, "Let's go."

"But Sanzo."

"We're just wasting our time, and besides, I'm not in the condition to fight and so as you two… So, let's go."

"Sanzo…" Hakkai murmured as he watch him walk away

Gojyo, on the other hand, stared at saru for a moment, "Saru…" he whispered. "What's wrong with you?" he left

Hakkai was the only one left with hopes that Goku will come, but Goku haven't said another word nor move a muscle, "I hope you know what you are doing, Goku…" Hakkai atlast gave up and followed Sanzo

The three of them disappeared in the darkness…

"Sanzo…" Goku mumbled, his brows meet then he walked back upstairs

**O o O o O**

"I can't believe it…"

"Believe it or not, Goku must really be growing up. He now makes his own decisions…"

"I never thought that would happen right now. But, why did he run away to Homura? What does he wanted to prove? That saru! I really can't understand him!"

"Believe me, I don't either…"

**O o O o O**

"Homura…" the large door before Homura opened

Homura sat on his seat, "What is it Son Goku?"

he walked towards him, "Can't I see Nataku yet?"

"No, not yet…"

"Why? Is he sick?"

"Sigh… You really didn't change at all." Homura stood up, "Alright. But, I hope this doesn't end our deal." Homura held his hand out and ask for his, "Let's go."

"Thanks!" Goku held tightly on Homura's hand

And, with a split of second, he felt a strong wind had blew. Everything became different. He was now on another place, he is now before Nataku's room…

"We're here…" Homura let go of Goku's hand

"That was fast." Goku took a few steps back

Homura turned to the door, "Nataku is behind this door."

Goku turned to it; he put one hand on the door and the other hand on the other side. He pushed it open, great light blinded his eyes. It was like that the lighting in the former war god's room was completely different and special. Goku forced to see through this light, and then he sees a familiar face…

Goku walked slowly along the carpet, his lips curved for he had missed that face so much, "N-nataku…" Goku stopped and stood straight before the sitting god

Homura stayed just beside the door and watched them. Then something caught his attention.

"_No, it can't be…_"

Nataku's glare was now different; life flowed back to his body. Nataku's fingers moved…

"_This… This is impossible._"

Nataku slowly lifted his head up to Goku, his golden eyes suddenly releases tears. Nataku's jaw dropped, he spoke, he called…

"G-go… ku… Goku…"

* * *

A/N: I was planning not to upload this chapter yet, but, hey, I think this will be my "sorry" for you guys. I really made you wait.. Wait a minute, did I really? Or you still haven't waited long enough? Let's see.. Bleah:P

Thanks again for the people who has sent me reviews! LOVE YOU, GUYS!


	7. Your Traces in My Heart

**Memories of the Past**  
_A Son Goku Fan Fiction_**  
Chapter Seven: Your Traces in my Heart**

"G-go…ku?" he cried

Tears fell from glittering eyes. Eyes that used to stare blankly into space now realised a tear… An occurrence that all has waited patiently for, the long wait is over. Nataku, the greatest war god, has finally come back to life…

Nataku strengthen his knees, reaching out to a friend. His hands so warm had waited centuries to grasp into this figure once more. As his fingers finally reached it, his arms automatically wrapped around it, he dug to its chest and listened to every beat his heart makes, he closed his eyes tightly and continued to cry…

It went all too fast, even for the current war god himself. Homura froze in his place as he watched Nataku fast picking up the pieces of his lost self.

"H-hey…" he brushed Nataku's hair with a smile

"Goku… Goku!" Nataku lifted his stare at Goku's face, at the corner of his eyes, tears were still seen, "Goku…" he embraced tighter and continued to cry

"_Son Goku…_" Homura chuckled

"You're… You're alright! I thought I… I thought I've hurt you and…" Nataku dug dipper to his chest, "I'm… I'm really sorry…"

These words suddenly made him remember… Back when Nataku was being nursed to health, back when he made a promise to him. Back when they slept together side by side, holding each others hand…

_Someday… I'll show you all the hiding places and where there are lots of berres growing…_

Goku blinked and smiled, he spoke…

"I know that, you don't have to say sorry…"

"G-goku." He smiled back

Goku chuckled, "Heh!"

"Goku?"

"Yeah?"

Nataku took a few steps away from him, "You've grown taller… AND THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Nataku whined, "That's not faiiir!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You're taller than me! I must be the one who's taller!"

"_Really incredible, Son Goku…_" Homura smiled

"Hey, your hair is shorter, too… And your clothes…" he walked around Goku, "They're… different."

Homura couldn't help, but smile. He couldn't understand why, but maybe, he just felt like it. He just smiled as he watched two old friends meet each other after 500 years…

"Welcome back, Prince Nataku…" Homura knelt down before him

"Eh?" he looked down, "Who are you?"

"I am Homura…"

"I haven't heard anything about you. But, hey, thanks!"

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Prince Nataku…"

"Prince? W-what's happening here? I thought you are a War God, Homura. What's with the sudden formalities? Are there any other people who are higher than a God?"

"War God?" Nataku raised a brow, "Oh! You must be my replacement!" he laughed

"That's right, my lord… But, now that you have returned there is nothing for me to do, but to return to the place I belong…"

"W-wait a minute! Replacement? What does that mean?"

Oh, I guess I have forgotten to tell you that…" Homura turned to Goku

"Is it that obvious?"

"I am the chosen War God by the Jade Emperor…"

"Now that straighten things up…"

"But, Homura…" he turned back to him, "I don't think I'll be taking back my place as the god of war…" Homura knelt before him and lifted his head, "I have no intention of going back to my father…"

"But, Prince Nataku--…"

He stood up, "Do your job as if this didn't happened, Prince Homura…" he lowered his head

"Nataku…" Goku says, "Are you sure?"

"I'm absolutely sure, Goku…" he smiled, "With my father I never get to decide things my own… And because they didn't know that I am back, I have the advantage to disappear!" Nataku smiled

he smiled back, "Whatever you say…"

"Come on!" Nataku held Goku's hand, "Let's go!" he turned back to Homura, "Please… Don't tell anyone about this…" he turned around and run away, dragging away Goku

Homura stood up with a straight face, "_Prince Nataku…_" he lowered his head

**O o O o O**

"Where are we going, Nataku?" Goku asked as he run after him, "I thought we're going to leave this place?"

"Yeah…" he answered, "But, before that, I want to show you something."

"What is it?"

"Remember when I told you I'll bring you to a place where the trees grow?"

"Yeah… But…" Goku stopped

Nataku looked back, "Come on, I'm just gonna' let you take a peek… There's no harm with that…"

"What if we get caught?"

"Let's think about then when they caught us, now, let's go!" Nataku run away with a smile on his

"A-alright…" Goku followed him, "_Nataku didn't change at all… He's still…_"

"Goku, over here!" Nataku called

"…" Goku walked towards Nataku

"We're here!" Nataku held Goku's hand and jumped out of the window

"H-hey!"

Goku landed with his feet, he stood up straight and looked around…

"Beautiful…"

"Told ya'!" Nataku smiled, "Come on!" he dragged Goku

"I… I thought we're just gonna'--…"

"What happened to you Goku? I'm not gonna' let you just look at it! You must taste its tasty berries, too!"

"B-but…"

"Come on! There's nothing to be afraid about!"

Suddenly, a sound of falling papers was heard, "P-prince… Prince Nataku?" and a shaking voice, probably shocked of what he is seeing now, "Prince Nataku… You have returned!"


	8. Mistake

**Memories of the Past**  
_Son Goku Fan Fiction_  
Chapter Eight: Mistake

Rain.

Heavily it falls down on him, he's all wet. He even feels heavy with his clothing already, so he just sat down on a large rock. His legs bent, he placed his crossed arms on his knees. He had his face behind it, only his eyes seen to witness the raging flood before him. He stared at his reflection on the dirty waters and continued blaming himself for what has happened…

In his eyes we see tears, and also behind it was great conscience. His brows were with each other and his mouth was shut tightly…

"Sanzo…" he mumbled, "Help me… Please."

He blinked his eyes and cried. In the waters he saw a reflection as the rain slowly disappeared. A golden light, a living light… Goku turned around and saw that the sun has finally returned to dry things up. With a smile in his face, his last tear dropped and melded with the water. He stood up stretching his arms up with eyes closed tightly. He put them down and started walking to nowhere…

He started skipping…

Jogging…

Then, running…

Then he stopped, only to find out that he's hurting once more, not by the sharp rocks and tree branches that he had passed through. But, by the fact that another life was wasted for his sake… He's hurting from the inside, like he always did.

He lifted his hand to his chest and felt his heartbeat; he closed his eyes and lifted his head up…

"Nataku…"

Images of yesterday raced in his confused mind as he called out this name. The view, the pressure; the fear… His heart started beating so fast.

Flashback…

Goku opened his hand, "Nyoibou!" he switched to his fighting stance and stood in front of his friend

"Goku, don't!" Nataku touched his shoulder

Goku looked back and saw tears falling from golden eyes, "…Nataku." He put down his hands and stepped aside

"I'm sorry…" he said, "But my father is my lord…" he started walking away from Goku, "Whatever he says is mine to follow…" he stopped in front of his father and turned around facing Goku

Goku was disappointed and cast his staff away, "…" he looked down and hid his eyes

"I'm sorry… I'm really sorry…" Nataku cried

Litouten slyly smiled as he touched Nataku's shoulder, "Kill him!" he ordered to the soldiers

"But, sir…" the soldiers disagreed, "…We are not allowed to kill."

"Fine! Then I'll do it myself!" he pulled one of the soldier's sword and charged to Goku

"F-father!"

"Gyaaah!" he stabbed Goku through the chest

Nataku watched; tears falling from his eyes as he saw a sword running through Goku's body…

"_Goku, why don't you fight back?_" Nataku thought

Blood spattered. He falls down…

"_There's… There's no reason for me to live now… Nothing._" Goku answered in his thoughts

He accepted every blow Litouten had wanted to give him, like a doll, like a lifeless marionette, he falls down once again…

"_Goku, you stupid brat!_" he closed his eyes, "_Fight back!_" Nataku turned away; fists clenched

Goku cried as he felt coldness ruling his body. Hearts getting crushed…

"GOKU!" Nataku yelled

Goku's eyesight blurred, he loses his will to live. He was about to close them up and die when a familiar figure appeared in front of him. In an instant, he saw blood running out of it, his beautiful clothes was stained by his blood. Goku's jaw hung down and a throaty voice went out screaming…

"NATAKU!"

His eyes opened up, his dream ended…. Flashbacks ended… His eyes released great tears, it never stopped flowing, it continued to fall. He can't stop crying… His eyes were wide open but the flashbacks resumed, his irises shook in terror with his hands and knees…

"NATAKU!" he screamed

"Goku…" he smiled with blood dripping from his mouth, "I'll be watching you, Goku… Like I always do…" Nataku falls down

"N-nataku! NO!"

"Nataku…" Litouten threw the sword and ran to his dying son, "My… my Nataku…" he held him closer to his heart

"N-nataku…" he cried, "NATAKU!" and he screamed for real

He escaped from his hunting past. His head hung down, he stared down to his feet; he cried…

"I… I don't want… I don't want to remember…" he mumbled, "I want to… I want…"

But it wasn't over yet…

"Hey, your hair is shiny! It's like the sun! a childish voice echoed, "O-oops…"

"You idiot!"

"S-sanzo?" he turned back but, instead of seeing Sanzo, he saw a tall, long haired god instead, "K-konzen?"

The long haired Goku ran through him like a ghost and slowly vanishes…

Konzen looked at him, "…"

Tenpou and Kenren slowly appeared beside Konzen…

"Hey, chibi saru!" What's taking you?" Kenren says

"Let's go, Goku…" Tenpou smiles

And with a blink of an eye, Konzen became Sanzo… Kenren became Gojyo and Tenpou became Hakkai with Hakuryu in his shoulder…

"S-sanzo? I… I killed… I killed Sanzo…" he looked down to his hands, "I… I killed sanzo!" he screamed, "I KILLED THEM ALL! I KILLED SANZO! I KILLED GOJYO! I KILLED HAKKAI! I KILLED THEM ALL! I KILLED NATAKU! IT'S ALL MY FAULT!" he closed his eyes tightly as he blamed himself for their deaths, "AAAAH!" he screamed as loud as he could

He falls down to his knees and shook like its winder. He lifted his head up and suddenly the forest became covered with snow…

"No, no!" he tried to run but the stone bars suddenly appeared before him, "NO!" he screamed, "Sanzo! Sanzo! Sanzo! Sanzo!" he called and he called, "S-sanzo…" he cried and falls down to his knees, "Sanzo… Gojyo… Hakkai… Nataku… It's… It's my fault…"

"If I were deep underground… I wouldn't have known what loneliness and freedom are…" a voice said

he looked back and saw his past self…

"If I were just…" he suddenly smiles, "Sanzo… Sanzo will come fore me…" he looked at Goku, "I'm sure about it! He'll save me!"

"But…"

he smiled, "Trust me! Everything will be fine!"

"No…" Goku looked at his wrists and metals suddenly formed around it, "Everything won't be… And that's how things should always be…"


	9. Blame

**Memories of the Past  
**_A Son Goku Fan Fiction_**  
**Chapter Nine: Blame

Goku stayed behind bars. He leaned to the rugged wall, his legs crossed, arms dropped lifelessly down the floor. He wears more chains that before, heavier and colder, it was wrapped around him like a blanket. His hair falls down to his face. These heavy chains were locked to the wall so he couldn't escape, so no one could ever took him out of there for him to make anymore mistakes…

"Hey…" a hand was reached out to him, "It's all over. Let's go."

Goku raised his head, "Sanzo…" he shook his head slowly, "No… It won't end as long as I am alive."

"What are you waiting for, saru!" Gojyo appeared behind Sanzo with his usual irritating smile, "I'll eat all the food if you don't hurry up!"

"Goku…" Hakkai appeared at the opposite side with his sweet smile

His brows meets, golden eyes release tears, his head falls down for the fact that even if he wants to, he must not go. Because he is afraid he'll just kill them one more time, he have done it once and he can do it anytime he wants. He decided to stay. He looks up once more and stared into those violets. His jaw hung open as he cried, and suddenly, a blurry shadow came out of him taking the hand he really wanted to take. And soon, they were gone. He closed his eyes and ignored about everything. His mind was set to one thing; he doesn't want to bring any harm. He prayed that they would leave him alone, for the sake of everyone, they really should. Hopelessness, he continued to cry hoping that it could make him feel better. But it didn't. Nothing could make him feel better. Now that he knows everything, every single detail that was kept from him for centuries. The massacres he had made, his great life was all a lie, just a lie. But, at least, now he knows that there is a reason for him to be locked up. Now he knows that he really has done something terribly wrong…

But, behind all this, he still wanted to be—saved. He lifted his eyelids and looked around, his rock prison was gone and so as the snow. Everything was back to normal. The rain continued to pour, he continued to cry.

"For the sake of everyone… I…" he looked up into the dark skies, "I must die…"

**O o O o O**

**  
**Sanzo stared down to his silver gun, holding it tight with one hand, he thinks over things. Not too complicated, but it was worth wasting time on. He thought about his friend, although he wouldn't admit it, he'll never meet another him. In his world, he learned to care once more because of his warm smiles and innocent looks. When they met each other, he became different…

Disturbed by a knock on the door, he lifted his violet eyes towards it and watched is slowly opening…

"Sanzo…" Hakkai walked in, "What are we going to do, Sa—"

"We'll travel towards west tomorrow…" he hides his gun and brings out a stick of cigarette

"How about Goku?"

he puts it in his lips and lighted it, "We can't wait forever…" he hides his lighter and stared at Hakkai

"But, Sanzo…"

"If you want to save that damn bullshit, go ahead!" Sanzo stands up in rage, "I'm sick of getting involved with other's fucking business!"

"He is your business, Sanzo! For goodness sake, "He looked up to you like his only family!"

"I have already tried saving that bastard and he said no! What the hell do you want me to do? BEG!"

"Once is not enough, Sanzo!"

"Dammit, Hakkai! I don't have intentions of wasting my life on talking non-sense to that brat!"

"Bringing him back is not non-sense, Sanzo!"

"It's not my fault that he run away, isn't it?"

"I am not blaming this to you, Sanzo!"

"GOD DAMMIT! STOP CALLING ME WITH THAT NAME!"

Then silence…

"…"

"I'll tell you this again, Hakkai…" Sanzo calmed down, "I'm tired of telling that brat what to do."

"Sanzo…"

"He must start to learn taking all the consciences of his actions all alone."

"But, we don't even know why he ran away…"

"If you really want to know…" he passed through Hakkai heading out of the room, "Go waste your hundred years for that kid. I don't need you to reach west." He walks out and slammed the door

Hakkai sits down on Sanzo's bed, "_Goku… Where are you?_"

**O o O o O**

Sanzo smoked outside the house, "…"

"Konzen."

"Shut up."

Gold and green gleamed in the darkness, just like how Goku's eyes used to…

"Konzen," he walked out of the darkness

"If you want the sutra, you can go to hell…"

"I am not here for the sutra, Konzen."

"Then what?"

"All I want is help…"

"What?"

"I need your help…"

"Sanzo!"

he turned, "Who the hell are you!"

The stranger slowly walked into the light, "…Sanzo."

"The son of Gyumao…" Homura said with a smile on his face

"YOU!" Kougaji clenched his fists

"Relax…" he smiled, "I'm not here to fight."

"What the hell brings you two here?"

"Where's Son Goku?" Kougaji asked

"He's not here…" Sanzo replied

"So, it's true."

"Are you here for the same reason?"

"Shut up." He yells at Homura

"What the hell do you want, really?"

"Son Goku…" Homura spoke

"What about that damn saru?"


	10. Events

**Memories of the Past**  
_A Son Goku Fan Fiction  
_Chapter Ten: Events

Three men stand, representing their groups. Two decided to put away personal pleasures, and help for the betterment of every one. But, one seemed to give no effort. He says he doesn't care. He is Genjo Sanzo and nobody else, with his cold voice he says no. But two other, Homura and Kougaji, had decided not to leave. Their minds were set to stop it from happening. Sure their reasons were different, but at least, they have put aside their pride and decided help each other…

"No."

One more time, he disagrees. But, no one has decided to stop. They couldn'y just let him go, or else everything will perish. Homura had already discussed it to Sanzo thousands of times, but he doesn't seem to change his mind.

"You're God, right?" Sanzo turns to Homura, "Why are you asking my help?"

"Because, Goku will only listen to you."

"Fuck you."

Just a few words, but means a lot. Sanzo turns around and decided to walk inside the house.

"Konzen. Goku needs—or rather, wants your help."

At this, Sanzo turns around. But still, nothing in his face, just the emotionless Sanzo.

"What the hell do you mean?"

Homura once more explains that something terrible must never happen to the heretic born from the auras of two worlds. He says that whatever happens to that heretic, the two worlds will feel the same. Now, the heretic is breaking into pieces, and soon, Earth and Heaven will shall. Unbelievable but true, the heretic is that important. Goku is immortal, so as Heaven and Earth, and he will only die when all things are into ruins and without life.

"You're kidding."

Homura stares into his eyes proving that he says are no lies.

"Ch." He takes out a stick of cigarette, "I'm no superhero, bullshit."

No word seems to be the answer to this, so, then, no reply.

"Dammit!"

Even if the word makes us feel bad, at least, the tone is much spirited, which most of the time, means alright. Kougaji's lips suddenly curved into a smile, Homura now stands comfortably. The persuasion is now over, but another problem isn't about to be solved. Here comes the real problem…

"How the hell do we stop him?"

So, silence…

"Don't tell me you don't know!"

Sanzo's vein under his eye popped.

"Dammit!" he pointed his gun at Homura angrily

"That can't hurt me, Konzen."

"The hell I care!"

"Sanzo!" Kougaji raised his hand to hold Sanzo's wrist

"Don't touch me, youkai!" he yells at Kougaji

His eyes gone wide, "What has gotten into you?"

"Ch." Sanzo hides his forearms under his sleeves, "Nothing…" he looked away

"Is it these eyes, Konzen?" Homura smiled slyly

"Ch." He stared at Homura angrily

He raises his hand and covered an eye; only showing the golden, "Does this remind you of anything?" he continued to mock him

Sanzo closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, "Shut up!" he charged his fist

"Sanzo!" Kougaji interfered, "Just think what Goku would think of you if he sees you like this."

"As if I care…" he passed through the two, "What the hell are you two waiting for?" he stopped and looked up into the roof

"Huh?" Kougaji looked up

"I thought you've forgotten about us, Sanzo!" Gojyo stood over the roof with a smile on his face

"Ch." He turned around and walked

Gojyo jumped off the roof, "Hey, wait for me!" he called as he ran after Sanzo

"Shut up. You're starting to sound irritating."

Hakkai followed down; "…" he turns to Kougaji with a smile, "Let's go."

"Uh… Yes." Kougaji and Hakkai follows Sanzo

Homura just stood there, watching the others hide in the darkness, "_Is this really the heavens want? To see these people united, to see them… care for each other?_"

**O o O o O**

In the forest were a breaking wander used to stay, we find a high mountain who one finds very familiar. In this familiar mountain, at the peak there he stands, wondering over things. And there surrounds him ruins of rocks and sand. His whole body looked so lifeless, but, yet he stands firmly. His arms hung down like a marionette without anyone to pull its strings. Eyes opened, but yet so blank. Gold eyes were confused; it stared down to his arms.

How could he see such blood stained hands?

"_What… What happened?_"

His golden limiter quietly breaks; it falls down to the mountain's feet. Without a sound; without any emotions, his hair gone long, ears got pointy, and nails and teeth gets sharp. He takes his original form, a pure youkai. A powerful creature.

"_I... I don't remember anything…_"

A river of blood he sees before him, lots of bodies, but no faces.

"_Tell me…_"

It seemed like it has been cut off, truly a nightmare: men without faces.

"_What… Tell me what happened…_"

Woman carrying babies in their arms swam.

"_Who… Who did this?_"

Children… Children who must've been playing along the streets swam.

"_Was… Was it me?_"

He turns to his side and saw a hand holding on to the land. Help.

He kneels; he tried to pull him out of the raging river of blood…

"_Hey…_"

He pulled harder, then, he sees some progress. He sees the man's golden hair. He continued to pull him.

"_You're pretty heavy_…"

The man's head suddenly went out of the river….

"_What the—_"

An incomplete face, golden hair hung over his face. His white cloth was stained by blood, what a shame…

"_I… Is… Is that—_"

Eyes were pulled out, only sockets to see. But somehow… Inside of he feels like… Violets used to be there.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! And, oh, I intentionally make it quite confusing, I liked it that way... Hope you'll soon appreciate the confusing atmosphere! Nyeheheheh! THANKS AGAIN FOR THE REVIEWS! 


	11. Angel

**Memories of the Past**  
_A Son Goku Fan Fiction  
_A/N: Oh, my… I never thought my fiction could go this far! So, most of the people who send me reviews say my fiction is quite confusing… But, hey, just wait and on the later chapters, you'll surely get your answers, just keep on being confused and soon you'll just go "oh… so, that's why" thingy. If you're really confused, just send me a review with your question and I'll include it to the later parts for you to go "oh… so, that's why" thingy… THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS AGAIN! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!_  
_Chapter Eleven: Angel

He stares down to the known corpse; golden eyes were wide in fear. He fell down to the ground as he saw that shattered face. Now, the eyeless man faces the ground, his arm in front of him looking like he's reaching out to the boy. Unfortunately, the kid doesn't want to take this hand before him.

"_What?_"

A whisper answered him, "_Open your eyes…"_

"_What?"_

"_Open them…_" he once repeated

"_But, they are…_" he answered, "_…already._"

"_they are not._"

And then, eye lids lifted. He now finds himself… in the middle of a massacre. His claws were stained by blood, and with the rain, it merged, it drops down like tears and rain. He stares at it like it is nothing; his hands were open as the rain washed the blood all away. But before him, further from where he stands, there children cries and pleads for mercy. After all this time, he was killing… Without even knowing.

He lifted his feet and moved towards the children, then, he stares down on him coldly. Golden eyes purely emotionless, "_Die_" he says, "_Die. Nobody else is allowed to live._" That is what he believed, but why?

"_Goku…_" a voice whispers

His eyes blinked and was now filled with emotions: fear, surprise, joy, no one could tell. There was just—something, something strange in his face, something new, like tears on Sanzo's face.

Hands of death lifted up, the children before him shook in fear, but then… HE whispers…

"_Goku…_"

His hand twitched in the air, it falls down.

"_Goku…_"

Seiten Taisen grits his sharp teeth in irritation; he once more tries to kill. But, again, HE whispers…

"_Goku…_"

Goku looks up where the droplets of water were coming from. He whispers to himself, he asks himself where the voice was coming from, but then, nobody answered.

Perhaps, it's all up to him. He looks down at his bloody claws and closed his eyes.

He asks himself what is really wrong with him. From the very start, he didn't know. Why does he kill? What with these nightmares? WHY IS HE SUFFERING? His hands clenched tightly, he asks once more.

"_Why? Why am I feeling like this_?"

Then, as he opened his eyes, answers raced before his very eyes.

Before him stands a golden-haired god dressed in white clothes, his eyes were violet and his hair was tied to a pony-tail. Slowly, his head turned to meet his.

Eyes were so lovely, they were so peaceful. He wanted to stare at them forever… If time could stop… But it wouldn't… It couldn't…

"_It's guilt._" violets disappeared as eye lids fell

"_What?_"

Konzen turned his back, "_It's guilt._"

"_G-guilt_?"

"_Yeah… Don't you even know what that means_?" after this statement, his body was shattered into tiny pieces. Before his eyes, his body was cut in the middle, just like how he used to kill the townspeople.

"_N-no!_"

But before he screams and loses himself again, upon those bloody remains form another man. Once more, a golden-haired man, only that his hair was shorter, but his eyes were just the same. Goku's fear subsided as his golden eyes meets once more those peaceful violets.

"_What's the matter baka saru?_"

"…"

"_Aren't you…_" and he slowly disappears, and the image of a high mountain appears before his eyes, "…_coming?_"

"_W-wait!_" his hands flew before him trying to reach this man, but the only things he got… was a feather.

**O o O o O**

**  
**"Eh." Gojyo breaks the silence as they walked towards the frightening view of the east where they believe is the place where Seiten Taisen resides, "You guys said that saru has lost his senses, right?"

Nobody answered.

"So…" Gojyo continues, "Do any of you guys know how to return him to his original form?"

Silence.

"Dammit." Gojyo groans

**O o O o O**

**  
**Back to the place where the destruction started, up to the mountain peak where the one responsible resides, another storm is brewing, a stronger storm that will destroy larger parts of Earth and Heaven.

Goku's long hair was carried by the strong blowing winds, his lips were to a frown and his eyes were blank and emotionless like how Nataku's eyes were. But even so, his power continued to grow. His arms hung down lifelessly, and because of the great energy that surrounds him, rocks began to flew. Even he was like this, his mind was set on one thing, and that is to wait. To wait for his sun.

He promised, and he believed. He'll wait for him no matter what.

"_Hey…_"

"_Yes?_" and there was an answer

"_C-could you…_" he murmured, "Could you… Could… Smile."

"_What?_"

"Smile… Smile for me… Please."

And the figureless angel answered no more, his frowning lips curved into a smile and then everything lightened up to show the man's face. His complexion was light, his eyes were violet and his hair was gold and long tied up to a pony-tail.

"Konzen…"

His angel wears white clothes and he stand so firmly. Bead necklaces hung on his neck.

"_Goku…_"

"Konzen… I'm sorry." Tears fell down

"_There's nothing more you could do._"

"But…"

"_Just wait for me, alright_?"

"Wait?"

Before his eyes he sees a beautiful horizon, and there he sees someone. He has wings…

And his wings were flapped open; his loose feathers flew around the place. Goku reached out, but his angel was too far away. Konzen's golden hair danced in the air, his arms were widely open. Goku looks up to him. Konzen's hand slowly moves covering Goku's face, and then… Light appeared…

Unexplainable. Goku continued to cry. Konzen blinked in surprise.

"_What?_"

"You are no nightmare…"

And then… His limiter was back on.

Slowly, Goku falls down to his back, arms followed. Tears flowed.

"Goku…"

Tears fall down to the endless ocean, melding, and a shattered reflection was seen. No angel was flying. Actually, there was no ocean. There is no horizon. No angel. Just a dream. Goku lied down, completely unconscious. Before him stands a wounded Sanzo.


	12. Love

**Memories of the Past**  
_A Son Goku Fan Fiction_  
Chapter 12: Love

"Are you the one who's calling me?" A figure shadowed by the bright sun stood before the kneeling boy

"I… I didn't call for anybody…"

"Stop it, it's annoying." He sighed, "C'mon, let's go." He turned his back and prepared to leave

"Let's?"

"Why?" he looked back, "Aren't you coming?"

"I don't know…" Goku curled up, "I… I think I like it more in here." He looked up with a forced smile

"Are you sure?"

**O o O o O  
**

"You old hag, why the hell didn't I thought that this was your entire fault!" Sanzo angrily protested as he carried the unconscious Goku in his arms

"Now, now, Konzen…" she puts a hand over Goku's forehead, "It's just for fun."

"Fun?" a vein popped out, "Let me just put this saru down and I'll show you how fun it is!"

"Konzen, Konzen…" she smiled as she retrieved her hand down, "The boy's memories are once more erased. It's your decision to make what you will tell him about himself. It is up to you if you'll tell him or not." She walked away, "Don't worry, Genjo Sanzo." Sanzo blinked at hearing for the first time Kanzeon Bosatsu calling him Sanzo and not Konzen, "He hasn't forgotten about you." She continued with a smile as she slowly disappears with the blinding light, "He doesn't seem to allow it…"

Sanzo looks down on Goku, "…"

**O o O o O**

**  
**  
"Are you the one who's calling me?"

"I… I didn't call for anybody…"

"Stop it, it's annoying." He sighed, "C'mon, let's go." He turned his back and prepared to leave

Goku smiled and reached for the man's robe, "Thanks…" he whispered. And then, he was free.

**O o O o O**

**  
**Sanzo puts Goku down to lie on the bed; "…" he stared at his peaceful face, "Wake up… You're saved."

Goku twitched, "Ugh…" he groaned

"He's dreaming, Sanzo." Hakkai walks towards him, "I hope he's having a good one."

"Whatever…" he walks away and sits down. He started smoking like usual.

"Sanzo…" Hakkai stands before him

"…" he looked up at Hakkai as he breathe out black smoke

"What will you tell him when he wakes up?"

In a blink of an eye, he suddenly remembers what he had done to save the little saru. A flashback.

Sanzo's robe was drenched by his own blood and was completely shattered, he has wasted all of the ammos he had brought, but nothing seemed to change. He climbed up to the mountain peak were Goku watched the world be destroyed. Homura and Kougaji, on the other hand, was all covered with some tantra as they kneel down on their position on the seal that Sanzo had made to prevent the damages go further.

"_Dammit_!" he cursed in his mind as he desperately stood up with a broken leg, "S-saru." He stares at his blank eyes, "_Do… Do you fear death?_" Sanzo remembers how Goku compliments the sun set, "_Death isn't as beautiful as the sun set, damn saru._"

"S-sanzo…" blood burst out Kougaji's body.

"K-konzen… F-for goodness sake… Stop resting and MOVE!" blood dripped down Homura's mouth as the seal began to fade.

Sanzo closed his eyes and puts his hands together, he chants the sutra…

"_Goku…_" he thought, "_Are you still willing to sacrifice for something you believe in? Even your life?_" the sacred scripture glowed and flew in the air, it stretched to its original length. "_But… What it is that you believe, really?_"he continued, "_Because I'm getting tired of rescuing you over and over again._" He lifted his eye lids, "_So, tell me now._"

A voice suddenly echoed, "_Sanzo!_" images of Goku's sweet smiles raced before his eyes. "_Sanzo, I'll protect you._"

Second thoughts, Sanzo put his hand down and stopped his chanting, "_Saru._" He grits his teeth, and slid his feet back and the last light escaped his lips, "MAKAI TENJOU!" the maten sutra flew around Goku.

"Sanzo!" the reminiscing ended as Hakkai's voice echoed in his ear

He slowly turns to his comrade, "What?"

"Sanzo, are you alright?"

He sighed, "…of course." He slid his hand through his hair; he rested his tired eyes for a few seconds

"I guess we'll talk about it tomorrow." Hakkai smiles, "Get some rest." He leaves, softly closing the door behind him, "Goodnight." He lastly whispers

Sanzo stared at the closed door, "Tomorrow, huh?" he looks back at Goku, "What if he wakes up now?"

**o O o O o**

"Are you the one who's calling me?"

Goku smiled, "Maybe…"

"Are you making fun of me?" he pulled out his fan

he chuckled, "Aren't you gonna' ask me to come with you? Aren't you annoyed?"

He put his hands down, "…A little bit."

Goku lifted his hand up and asked for Sanzo's, "What are you waiting for? Let's go!"

He smirked, "…Right." He takes Goku's hand

"Thanks…"

**o O o O o**

Sanzo stood up from his chair and head towards his bed. He lied down to his side facing Goku's bed. Slowly, his eye lids fell… And he falls asleep; he began to share the dream that Goku sees through his closed eyes.

"_Saru…_" a golden haired monk stood firmly with his robe all stained with blood, "_Why do I have always to save you? You leave me no choice._" he puts his hands together and chanted the prayer. The sutra flew in the air and glowed brightly; it started stretching to an incredible length and went around the both of them, "Makai tenjou!" the sutra tightened up around Goku. Goku gritted his teeth and forced to break free, and he did, "What the--" the sutra was torn to pieces. Sanzo froze as he watched the pieces of the scripture fly.

Then a blinding light went down to the Earth, the Gods' Stairs. Kanzeon Bosatsu stepped out of the light and Jiroushin was following her, "Buy me some time, Konzen." He turned to his nephew and threw some ammo to him for his gun

"Ch." Sanzo picks up his gun and loads it. He faces Goku who comfortably just stand there, staring them with his emotionless eyes. He lifted his gun and fired. Goku jumps up to the air, and so, the battle began.

While Sanzo and Goku fight, Kanzeon puts her hands together and chanted her own prayer. Then, after a few minutes, everything lightened up; she raised her hand pointing at her nephew's back. Blinding light ran fast to reach Sanzo within a minute, and as the shadow touched the light, a faint image of Konzen overlapped Sanzo's figure in the air which reached for Goku's forehead to return his yoryoku limiter. At the precise moment that their skins touched, Goku's golden circlet was back on.

Without noticing, without thinking, tears fall from Kanzeon's eyes. It was, at least, after 500 long yeats, she managed to see her nephew once more. She saw, before her eyes, the golden long hair she had always adored.

"Konzen." She walked towards Sanzo, her tears already wiped and dry.

He turned to her, carrying the unconscious boy in his arms, "What?"

"I'll take you home…" Kanzeon closed her eyes with a faint smile painted on her lips, "_I'm going to miss you…_"

* * *

A/N: My God... I can't believe I'm crying over this again. Oh... I'm missing a friend... and I last saw her six years ago. Oh, I hope to see her again... Anyways, I know you guys really did a great job in waiting... But, hey, here's your prize again! I hope you like it even if its kinda' mushy. 


	13. Friday

**Memories of the Past**  
_A Son Goku Fan Fiction_

**A/N:** Okay, that's just awesome! It took me a year to update this new chapter! Wohohoh! Tons of apologies to my dearest readers! I hope you guys would still read it! Horay for the worst writer in the whole world!!! ME!!! XD

Chapter 13 is the last chapter… yes? Hmmm… Yeah!! LAST CHAPTER! WOOHOO!!! This is also the longest chapter of this fic! And I made you wait a year for it! WOOOHOOO!!! I'm the worst author ever!!! XD

Chapter 13: Friday

Sanzo sat back his chair, looking down at the sleeping boy who is always addressed to be his loyal pet but that wasn't any issue he would be worried about. This peaceful boy is fine with that, he doesn't care if everybody treats him like a real animal, all that matters to him is his sun. Everybody else can leave him, but please not his light. _Not his Sanzo._

Son Goku lied uncomfortably in his bed, his limbs spread wide and his head lying to one side but still, he looked too peaceful to be having any nightmares about the days that have passed.

"_Aren't you going to wake up yet, baka saru?_" his limbs crossed over each other comfortably, he's having his daily smoke. He puffed out the dark cloud and inhaled the strong aroma of his cigarette. He titlted his head to the left and his eye twitched, "_I hate waiting._"

Yet, what was he going to say to him? Will he tell him everything? If he does, it would just hurt him more… but it's hard to live in a world of pretend, everybody's going to hate and you never knew why. Just from the very moment that you opened your eyes, they already hated you and they want you to pay for the sins you believed that you could never do.

"S-sanzo…" a broken voice crawled up to his ears, "Goku." He straightened his knees and sturdly stood up beside him.

"O-oha…yo…" the golden-eyed heretic forced out a broken smile. "W-what's f-for breakf-fast?"

"How should I know. I've been here sitting beside you since last week."

"R-really?" he rolled his head and looked up to the blank ceiling. His tongue went out and damped his lips, "W-what h-happened? I… I f-feel so w-weak."

"…and hungry."

He smirked, "Y-yeah… V-very hungry…"

Sanzo closed his eyes and dug into his thoughts, it's time to decide… Will he tell him everything? Or is it better to lie right now? His decision will effect the life of this boy, and even if he doesn't admit it, he cared for him so much… He just doesn't want to show it, because he himself is afraid of pain.

"Goku,"

"Y-yeah?" his golden innocent eyes slid to the side and met his. A weak chill ran up his spine as tainted visions of blood flashed in his eyes, "A-are y-you alright, S-sanzo?" he forced himself to sat up, but he felt a great pain in his abdomen. "Tch." He gritted his teeth and shut his eyes at the pain that crawled all over his body.

"You alright?" he asked coldly.

"I g-guess. W-what about y-you?" he moved his head up to the side. "I-is there s-something t-that I h-have to k-know?"

Violet orbs looked straight at those shimmering gold, "…There is, of course." He stated. "But you have to find it out for yourself."

"W-what about a h-hint?"

"A what?" he raised a brow.

"A hint."

He untied his arms and reached for something inside his robe, "You want a hint."

"Y-yeah."

He pulled out his harisen and Goku automatically covered himself with his bandaged arms, "H-hey! D-don't! I'm wounded, I'm wounded!!!"

"You ran away, damn saru." He said as he stroke the harisen on his palm. "Pets should always be disciplined."

"A-aah! There's no use in punishing me for something I don't remember!!!" he screamed back at him, still under his bent arms.

Sanzo put down his hand along with the large fan, "…I see, then NO hint." He turned around and lighted another cigarette.

"E-eh?"

"Go to sleep, it's just 3 in the morning." He said and silently closed the door. The monk head down to the hall and went inside his room, he softly closed the door and looked around his dark-lit room. "Hmmm…" he took the stick off his mouth and threw it, he stepped at its burning end and head to his bed. He lied down and closed his eyes.

**o O o O o O o**

"Ugh..." Sanzo wakes up

"Good morning, Sanzo! I hope you wouldn't mind if I borrow your newspaper for a while." Hakkai smiles

"Ch..." Sanzo sat up on his bed, his feet flat on the wooden floor

"Did you had a dream, Sanzo?" Hakkai asks politely

"Hell..." he stands up and pulled his robe up

"Hey, guys..." Gojyo suddenly appears at the opened door of their room

"Is Goku in here?"

"Couldn't a kappa tell if he's here or not?" Sanzo says coldly

"Hey, priest!" he says, talking to Sanzo with a serious face,"Your pet is missing..."

"He'll come back..."

"Knowing Goku... He would never skip breakfast..."

"You just said it kappa... He would never... So, he'll come back..."

"Sanzo... I think we must be sure if he's really coming back or not..." Hakkai stood up from the chair and walked out of the room, "You coming, Sanzo?"

"Hmph..." he lights a cigarette and followed Hakkai

Inside Gojyo and Goku's room...

"Hey, look..." he stepped closer to Goku's bed and folded his knees, looking under the bed; hepulled something, "His clothes…"

"Hey, are you telling me that chimp is walking around all naked!"

"I really doubt that, Gojyo…" Hakkai said with the usual smile on his face

"That fuck-face!" Gojyo lit a cigarette, "What are we supposed to do now?"

"…" the both of them turned to Sanzo and caught him thinking deeply, "Sanzo?"

"Hmph…" he turned around, "We can't leave that stupid monkey here, can we?"

"I suppose not…" Hakkai smiled again

"Gojyo…" Sanzo shot a glare at the red-headed man, "Sniff his god damn tracks…"

"Right away…" he was about to leave the room when he realized what Sanzo had said; "Wait a minute! What the hell did you just told me to do?"

"Eheh…" Hakkai chuckled, "Now, now… We have a pretty big problem on our hands already…" he tried to stop the argument between tha two, "Can't we just get along even until we find Goku?"

"Hey," Gojyo turned to him, "He started it!"

"Do it or I'll kill you!" Sanzo pulled out his gun and aimed it at Gojyo, "That's an order, damn it!" he shot the gun nearly missing Gojyo's face

"Sanzo…" he tried to calm him down

"Why, you corrupt priest!" Gojyo held Sanzo's shirt and pulled near him

"Gojyo!"

The door suddenly opened, the three of them looked at the door hoping that it was Goku. The door opened wider and revealed no boy, but a girl with same golden eyes and brown hair, only longer…

"Please, don't tell me Goku turned into a cute girl…" Gojyo says, still gripping to Sanzo's robe

But as they all stared at her eyes, it faded into light brown. Hallucination, I must say...

"M-master Sanzo?" the girl spoke

"Hmph…" Sanzo pushed Gojyo away

"Hey!"

Sanzo stood inftont of the girl and stared at her for a little while, "…" then he left

"He sure is worried…" Hakkai says with a faint smile

"You call that worried?"

"Well, knowing Sanzo…"

"Yeah, yeah… Whatever…"

"I thought that was my line, Gojyo!" Hakkai laughs as he followed Sanzo outside

"…" Gojyo grunted and follows Hakkai

"That stupid saru…" Sanzo thinks, "Where could he be?" Sanzo looked around the place, but all was there are tiny stalls and its merchandise, "Sigh…" a kid with brown hair suddenly bumped into him, he fell down with the kid over him, "Shit." the kid suddenly looked into him, his eyes widened to see a pair of golden eyes, "Goku?"

Goku stood up fast and continued running, "…"

Sanzo stands up and tried ran after him, "Goku!" but the crowd was getting on his way, "Shit." He fires his gun and everybody ran to find a place to hide, the street were cleared reaveling a brown-haired boy running away from him, "Goku!" he called, he was about to run after him when somebody held his arm, he turned around, wanting to find out who dared stopping him, "Gojyo?"

"Hey, what's with the gun-shooting?" Gojyo asks

"..." He turned around, but Goku was no longer in sight, "Ch…" he grited his teeth, he looked back at Gojyo and gave him a cold-stare; he pushed Gojyo away and left

"What's with him?" Gojyo asks Hakkai

"Why are you asking me?" Hakkai smiles

"…_Goku… What the hell is this? A dream? Why is this happening?_"

A suited punishment for those who opposed the heavens, a punishment where they experience even in life. Eternally they struggle, no escape… And until they die, and be born once again… This is a punishment they will never escape.

* * *

**a/n:** alright, the ending sucks… horay! But, this is really what I always thought of its ending. It's something I feared myself, living your life over and over again… I got the ending on an old movie, I guess the title was "Hell Racer" if I am not mistaken. It was about a policeman, I guess, and he's so greedy and bad or something that he was punished even if he's still alive. Then one day, he woke up, believing that the nightmare was over, he went to his job then the things started to happen all over again and then he killed himself… **KABOOM!** But then, he woke up again and things just happened over and over again… Kinda' freaky if you ask me. So, that's it! XD 


End file.
